Anybody see a pig in here?
How bizarre. A woman is suing The Herbfarm after being bitten by a potbelly pig. (Disclaimer: I should mention, for the obvious reasons, that this blog entry is based solely on online news articles, and therefore is pure fiction or opinion or both.)
Ostensibly hoping to add some “cute” to an intermezzo in her feast, and having received both a pan of food and the usual farm-animals-are-dangerous warning from the kitchen, the woman wandered to the pen. It was a dark January night. And Sue (not her real name) couldn’t see the pigs.
Naturally, she did what any of us would do under such circumstances, after several wine-paired courses. She scooped up some slops and extended her hand into the darkness. One of the pigs accepted the offering, but in the dark and aiming by smell, failed to distinguish Sue’s hand from the slops. We don’t know if it was Basil or Borage that bit her, as it was too dark to get the license plate.
And now, suffering complications from infections, Sue is seeking medical expenses and “unspecified special damages.” Unable to go after the piggy perpetrator, she’s heading for a deeper trough: the restaurant.
What a shame. Her husband should make her watch the pigpen scene in Snatch. She’d realize how lucky she really is.
stardust
It’s no secret that I’m not a big fan of Starbucks coffee (Vivace and Fonte, the latter served at Uptown, are my faves). In fairness, it was Starbucks that lifted me and millions of others from the robusta dungeons made of old Folgers cans. And for that I’m grateful. But then either Starbucks quality slid in its quest for mega-market share (it did) or other, more careful artisans raised the coffee bar, so to speak (they did).
And then today Starbucks (why do I feel compelled to add the SBUX ticker symbol?) announced their twenty-years-in-the-making instant coffee. Be still, my caffeinated heart. A senior veep boasted that Starbucks now has the technology to “absolutely replicate the taste of Starbucks coffee.” Why can’t I stop giggling at the double meaning in that? Did it really take 20 years for Starbucks quality to intersect with instant coffee?
But there is an explanation: turns out instant coffee is a $17 billion market. Hmm. I remember when Howard Schultz was re-inserted as CEO in 2007, with all the fanfare about his zeal for returning to “the passion that we all have for the true Starbucks experience.” But with Ronald hawking “large is the new grande” lattes to moisten your mouthfuls of Big Mac, nibbling at Starbucks market share, what’s a CEO to do?
Fight back with instant coffee, that’s what.
Not exactly my idea of reclaiming the high ground. Let’s just hope their passionistas don’t call it Coffee McDust . . .